Guess this topic is about myself and my friends?
 hmmm, was just telling my sister yesterday night, that most friends are actually not those type of friends that you think they are. Right now, i'm only close with a few. i am picky with friends. This is true. But to say the truth, which humans aren't selfish? YES, they do care about you, but if it involves themselves, won't they save themselves first? how about this situation, There were three seats left, There's 4 people including you. Who's the fastest to get there, and what do people say when they get those seats. For me, i know how it feels to be neglected, so i will just stay there looking around for seats before sitting, because i don't want anyone to be left out. BUT! it doesn't mean that your 'friend' will do the same thing for you. This is one of it. Another? How about this? you needed help from your friend, be it you ask them this question and that a lot of times, or asking them to do something, they will be like, "HUH????????????!!!" AND they're going to show you that fuck face. i understand, if anyone ask me questions after questions, i will be really irritated, BUT! i will always try not to show them, and let say , if it's something i thought they have to know in order to pass their exam, I DEFINITELY will teach them with patience, i will, the only thing that my friends have to do, is to just wait for me to get that question i'm doing and i'm absolutely correct, because i simply do not want them to get wrong just because i did something wrong. i have to clear the doubts myself first before teaching. Unfortunately, not everyone think that way. i guess i really do have experiences in getting negative experiences, eg. there's lesson when you don't get what that teacher was saying; you being left out in outings because people thought/assume that you are either not free, or! because i won't want to join them. For me, it's not the same, be it my friends want to join or not, i will still ask them if there's group outing. It's really hurtful and sad to be left out.
Indeed! i agree with my friends, i'm short tempered, i am choosy/picky. who's not? tell me. I'm not blaming anyone but myself. I'm not perfect, i know i won't be. Because i'm one of those who don't like this, don't like that. I hate anyone who can't do anything and all they know is to complain, i'm one of them. One of the reason i hate myself. Like there are outings, and i wish my friends can go tgt, but some of them have their own outings to go for. I tried to understand, but still can't help feeling disappointed. This problem even led to me and peiying quarreling. Sorry about that! really! i do know that words hurt, i hate getting hurt, insulted and stuff. The reason why i'm not close to anyone was because that, for me, i have that idea that friendships will always end. No matter what. Anything could happen in anyday. Like, you getting closer to a friend and finding more about their 'negative' side, you found that you can't really take it. Humans. Practically idiots. Naive, stupid. Especially in Singapore, i think. Most people won't bother to care to help out anyone. It's only different when it's them who wanted help. But! despite those negative stuffs, i'm still kind of glad, that i have some friends, who can be my listening ears. Really, i can't share every single thing, but at least when i have those negative thoughts, i can turn to them. Peiying and ben. :)