hihi, today im so gonna blog about the people i love and how i appreciate them, it's not going to be in full details, but it's just that, i really appreciate them with me all these while.
Let's start with school first okay? that's the best way to start with.
starting with my clique.
Starting with the shortest okay? haha!
Joanne - first of all, there are some things that i can share with her based on our family backgrounds, the only similarity is that there's violence, and too much unhappiness. haha! so basically, sharing some thing that im not happy about , the benefit is that she can understand more. haha!
Second shortest is Gina? is it? hoho! aye, she's too funny , only when she can bullied by us! haha! this is really entertaining, and it's even funnier when she's pissed off because of some people in the class who almost everyone is irritated with, haha , her face. thanks for making my life in ite entertaining.
The last but not least, is Ziying, i shared many problems with her as well, and im glad that she's a good listening ears of mine. Thanks for teaching me those studying stuff because exam is near, and i dont know a shit about anything, and you trying hard to teach me despite not knowing much either, but tolerate me and my nonsense as well.
Right, now i shall start start with the group of ladies i have.
Peiying, September, Qian (I cant remember anyone else in the moment, will probably edit this post once i remember, no guarantee though. ^^)
Peiying - im really really glad that she's here for me, we can be crazy in a moment, and the next, we will be sitting down in some places like mccade, starbucks, even staircases, sharing those stuffs that we are unhappy about, sharing them and talking about them. Right now, she's the one that im always turning to when im unhappy. really.
Sep - Knew her since sec sku, and the epic moment was that i thought she was van, because of her hair, and called her mogu! haha! im glad that she's one of my listening ears, and that she will be there for you when she can.
Qian - although i still dont know her quite well, and we'll probably be awkward if we met outside just alone, although sep said that qian's rather talkative, so maybe we wont be, haha. Im glad that she's always entertaining me suddenly, out of a sudden , yeah, haha! but i think she's going overseas soon. hope we are still able to communicate often.
Right, it's guys turn, haha. erm..
Eddy? I wont speak about other guys because , haha, erm, i rarely talk to them, because because, im just not interested in talking to them? heh!
Eddy - right, knew him for 7 years, although we are not that close like how we are last time, and i found that i dont really know him. Nevertheless, im still glad that i can turn to him when im sad? yeah, i think so.
i guess that's all, i have to prepare to go out right now.

I don't miss him, i miss how i used to be able to receive embrace, hugs, holding hands and stuffs, yes, but not from you. i miss you. And how often do i wish that you will do those. i don't like waiting, i've never been patient before, im more of a worrying and clumsy kind, i can't wait, i did my best though, i am greedy, despite trying not to, sep told me not to expect more, py told me that yes, you are that kind of person i will never want. i knew that your personality is nothing more than what i least expected, something that i really don't like, i don't like anyone who is unable to trust me, secretive and such, i am stubborn, yes, just like you. But i wish that you won't behave like this, i've been looking at our horoscopes for weeks. And all that i've read, it's either a hit or a miss, i thought that i can try although i don't have the confidence i can do it, and i'm just so worried right now that i can't tolerate this distance for a long time. Each single time im out with you, and all im thinking was, are you going to hold my hand,or smth, i wish you are. and i just cant tolerate how each day, i am staying this way, thinking of you, each and single time i break away from what im doing. i thought of you each and single moment, and i just can't help it, i don't get what i'm doing and it's getting me frustrated. i just wish you will tell me what it was. why don't you tell me how you feel about me, i have a feeling that it's negative, and how i'm hoping it's the opposite. i know i don't look pretty and everything, i have a personality and character that no much people will like, yeah, i hate myself too. but i still hope and wish that you will look at me in a different way and tell me that it's ok and everything, and you giving me a feeling that looks aren't everything to you, and you just want me in your life. i have not much patience anymore, and i'm ain't sure what i'm supposed to do. how?

hey hello hi, hehe, anyway, woked up at 12 plus because eddy message me and i wanted to pee, haha, damn! i can't figure out what's wrong with my bladder these past few months, nevertheless, i managed to get up and pee, what i mean was, i only managed to sense that i need to pee urgently only when i wake up, and that's something totally different from the past. Anyway, went to catch the movie, The Crooks, with eddy at amk hub. that was funny, something that managed to cheer me up a little. Went to have dinner after that despite having some food during the show. Walked a little bit before that though, took mrt to tpy and then head over to the ntuc because sotong wanted to get a drink, (ps. he get me one too.  hehe) then he walked me over to the bus stop, playing some musics before my bus came, and ta da, he never sent me home but he said that he will drive me out again. ^^ k, bye.

yeah, hi, i know that this is going to be a very long post, and the laptop's fan is really getting on my nerves for making an irritating sound non-stop. And my leg just got bitten by a mosquito. anyway, i havent found any job that i like, i wanted to work in a book store actually, and it's either recruit express or some where far. Therefore, i haven't been working ever since the holiday's start. to be exact, i mean before cny, i don't have any job, weiting is a rubbish, absolute. I won't want to bother myself by writing what had happened over there, because i have told enough people, whether they want to assume or what, doesn't matter to me anymore, because i do not want to get anymore fuck-ups from that. exams are harsh for me, and i know that im not interested in the GPA's. yes, if i'm a friend of me, i will probably say eww, because i hate anyone who fails because they don't work enough. truthfully, i tried my best for my sve and english. as for iac and stats, no. reason being, i think im getting upset that i disappointed myself by trying and then failing for that many times, so i gave up. something that i hate about myself, that's one of them. Have been heading out almost everyday, well, just say everyday. Home is nothing but somewhere for me to sleep, yeah, there's no quarrels, arguments and such, sometimes only, but there are too many things that i've kept from my parents, and there's no such thing like they will ask or anything, since they can't see that im troubled, then i shouldn't say anything, i don't need any more troubles because of me. Have been burdened up by the fact that everything relies on me now, but not wanting to be upset right now, let's just say that i'm ignoring the fact that all these are going to be a chore, a serious one, i want nothing but to get out of it, right now, but that's only if my family and i are dead. Feelings are a pressure to me these few days, damn, disappointment as well, what i meant from disappointment, a lot. something that i don't wanna say out as well, because no one actually bother, because some of the facts i mentioned to some friends, have been "mix-ed up", either that or something like i said some of the stuffs, and i forget about others or what, and then everything actually corrupted, sigh, that's when problem come. some people just don't know when to open their mouth and when to shut it. i'm serious about that, therefore, im not going to share everything out, dude, it's my problem, not others, who will bother about my fucking problem anyway? i actually like sharing some of my stuffs out, reason being, i don't like getting stuff up and getting stress from every single problem, i thought sharing can actually makes me relax more, but no. eventually, more problem came up. i seriously felt that some people have some problem, they don't know when to shut up, and some, they assume. fucking assume. something that i despise the most, and then when i don't feel upset when i said something actually, and they thought i do, and bring out the thing that triggers the unhappiness. bloody hell! i think im just going to keep my mouth shut and share them to just one person. yeah, peiying, we shared our problems together and im actually quite relieve. she's actually there for you if you need her, not like some people, they need you, they call you, but when you need them, "erm no, i can't." "erm i think no ba." disappointments like that do exist, yes, thank you so much. i've been speaking with sarcasm because it's really hectic for me these few months, im so just gonna quieten down till school ends next year, either that or im just going to quit school if there's anything else that's going to bother me from there. say me stupid or anything, i felt that i am, actually, right now, all im feeling is that im such a loser that is getting stupider and brainless, knowing all those logics and still planning to do some disappointments for others, i let myself down, DAMN MUCH, I SWEAR, i failed myself, and i hate myself. i guess, that's all for now, because i don't wannt be bothered by myself, - that kind of people.