sometimes, i really wished that im living alone. Having a new house of my dream, new things, new hope, new fragrance of detergent and stuff. To work for myself, with no worries,  no anger, just peace, peace and peace. although i might need some family warmth, but apparently, i found none. i dont have to expose anything about my family. Because like some of us, only some of us, have this kind of life. we do not have much things to enjoy and hope for like the most of you. you can have what you want, what you need, what you've got even though you have no needs for them. yet, to some of us, it's really precious. i wished i can say everything that i dont like here. what things i have suffered. It's not even because of some house chores that i have to do, or to take care of my family, food, bills and everything. it's nothing like that. There are just too many "NO". "MUST" . The sounds that were heard of will be "piak!", bang" something like that, slaps, doors being bang. Punch! everything. i might look like some jokers, yet, im not that joyful like what i look like. To those whom have just seen me once or twice. either they say, she so funny, cute, mental, fierce, ah lian. However, what makes me become that way. i can only said it's because of me myself. i guess im too distress about my emotions. stressing myself over a lot of things which you can say, there's seems nothing to be worried about. Nah! even if you dont feel like worrying, you have to, even when you like forgetting it, you can't forget about it, even if you say i will take care of it some other time, no! you have to take care of it now! it really does seems like im grumbling right? im not. i just complaining. i somehow wish i will either be sleeping all the way along like a dead person, not knowing what had happen to human, all not even living on earth. that way, i wont have to worry about anything. they say, human tends to stress themselves over nothing. Yes, it's true. However that's human nature.