Sigh! what a day, i can't study at all. Took my last exam today. due to not studying, i cant really do my papers. anyway, gerbelle pass siao ei letters. haha, Thank you Gerbelle! We then proceed to our lockers before leaving for Bishan. Cheated ziying say im going home, joanne going home, and gina will be meeting her friend. And Ziying said she got suspicious that gina is meeting her friend and that i was walking so slow, hehheh!! After she Ziying leave, the three of us meet up and then we went to J8. Brought a bowl for her with her favourite bear picture. Then Gina went home as she has a postal delivery to receive, and me and Joanne went to Yoshinoya. We asked a lot of how about tml. and everything., Finally, we decided to bring the presents to her today as well as the bread. hehe! we then left for home. and Ziying sent us. at the bus stop, Was shocked to see Desmond Phey again!! hhaha. But then we never really talk, maybe becaus we seldom see each other. hmm. Finally reached home. And just like i knew it. Mum nag at me about tml. Spending money and such. But the thing is. When i work, you gave me a pahetic 5 dola. How to save? i Dont know. Plus im the one who worked for it. Shouldnt i get a share of my pay too? i didnt. So how to save with those pathetic 5 dola. plusa im not working too. and then it gets to her head that the reason why i didnt give her a straight answer about when im going back to work because i had alrady planned when to go out. When i had already thought that i will start work next Monday. And i thought to myself that i should just forget it. Sigh! I really wanted to say her back. But then, what will i spent on tml? SERIOUSLY, i should get my pay at least half. Then i can spent it on what i want without having to ask money from you and to not hear you nag anymore. You think i wanna get money from you? ARGH!

Good Morning! Hi everyone. IM BACK! *music starting. LOL! Anyway, this is how i spend the day. I woked up about 11 plus, and im supposed to fetch my dad from metta at 11.30am. However i keep dragging the time. and when i went down already, and bro asked me to come up from the staircase to tell me that mum had reminded him to tell me to hold dad's hand when bringing dad home. Then i went downstairs again, but i saw dad walking home instead. LOL! waited for lunch to be ready, ate, use laptop, and waited for MAMA, finally it came on the TV, but the bad thing is, i neglected my revision for BEO. And i can't focus at all. so i thought i will have to wait till MAMA ends. I keep refering to my BEO text, but nothing goes into my brain no matter how hard i study.MAMA finally ends.  so i went to bath before revising, thinking it will makes me fresher, enables me to study even better. But so far, im still stuck in Unit 1. shit right. HEH! then cook mee with the leftover soup, and Mum actually said that she told me that she want. i thought she dont want, so i threw some of the soups away and just cook 1 serving. Then Shiva called. In the end, he brought double Macspicy, and i was so full. But i thought to myself that he came all the way here, waiting for his pay to come then buy mac, even though he was tired already. So i forced myself to eat the burger. i ate about 5-6 fries, and asked my mum to eat them. Mum cannot finish it too. i have already try my best oh. heh! anyway, i really really really miss my old clique. i have a lot of clique. But then, these are all guys, well, they are my brothers. Eddy, jun Siong AH ming, everyone else. i seriously long time never see Jun Siong ever since he ORD and started working. But it's good for him la. i hope he will at least find a better job or promote. And not keep changing job and getting low pay. I hope he can get back to studies too. So at least he will have a cert or something. As for eddy, i rather he go NS before going ITE lor, but he spend years there. so i hope he wioll be able to get to poly after getting out from the army. He won't go to the sea area right? he will look for his brother there :Sotong. LOL! i hope he see this, but none of them has my link. LOL.not even zhaoya, cause i lazy update, she also lazy update. hee. anywya, i really missed the old times, even though most of my memories had gone. hahha! make me recalled what eddy said that time: that whenever i reached burger king last time, i will have a black face, and then started banging already. LOL! i really cannot remember anything like that, hehe, jun siong also told me about last time, but some of them i cannot remember too. Forget it, old people is like that. LOL! i hope that we will be able to behave like last time and play and shout like last time, even though shiva wont like it. because i really miss the old time :D. and last time , i have to edit my font to a bigger one. but then it might come to no use. cause everyone said that my story too long already, and they dont feel like reading them at all. But then, this is blog, not twitter, haha. k bye!

hi, i just bath and came out only, i havent even wipe my spec yet. LOL! my spec is too watery right now. anyway, i found out that i hadnt been updating any thing on fb already. Yet! friend request keep coming in. and it's mostly those people whom i dont even know -.-  sometimes, when i wanted to update on twitter, and that twitter gaves me problems these few days, which gets me hopping mad! and msg isnt the easy way either. cause my current phone keypad sucks! it's hard pressing them. and you have to keep cancel the wrong letter and re-press again, which is damn irritating. i have nothing better to do now, i have to wait for my hair to dry, heh! there's so many videos i want to watch but mostly are episodes, which will took be years to watch them. LOL! i have to wait till im really free to watch them then. k bye. i go watch back idol maknae first.

heyhey!! hi everyone! i had my exams today. POA. hmm, i comfirm pass one, comfirm, only that i cant score that well only, haha! hmm, i cant wait for my results still. anyway, i have been wanting to change my blogskin for a very long time, and i finally change it just now. hyun bin leh!! hehe

why does it have to be me everytime? Why am i supposed to be the one taking care of everything, handling everything, doing everything, worrying about everything? i wish im not living on earth. i wish that im not even born, i dont mind not experiencing happiness. why not others, but me? because of my past life? what wrong did i do? i wish i could write everything here. but there's so much to write, everything. say, what should i do. why must everything bothers me. why do i have to get so frustrated. i wish i could leave right now.

if only, if only, if only everything will just go right.
if only, if only, if only we will be alright.
if only, if only, if only nothing goes wrong,
if only, if only, if only none of us are in wrong.
i wish, how i wish, that everything will be fine.
i wish, just wish, that i will be secured,
if only i can be really happy, if only there's no such thing as hurt, or maybe, if i dont even experience anything, that is probably the best thing in my lives. if only i wasnt born, if only i wasnt here. i werent want to feel happiness if there's sadness. im not escaping, i just do not want to face it.
im really tired. im tired of everything. im tired of having immosisa, im tired of thinking about everything and everyone but not myself. im tired, to think that only i care, and no one else. i tired of thinking that im stupid, everything happens because of myself. it's my fault that i allowed everything to go haywire. i wish, i really wish, i dont have to suffer such grieveness. i wish, really wish, that if i were to lie in bed now, i wont have to wake up forever.

I purposely use this font size because some people keep telling me that they do not want to read my post because my post are too long and the words are small. hehe XD  . anyway, went to toapayoh today , went for lunch and we walked around trying to find bottle drinks. We then proceed to the library to study, i tried to memorize while keep writing the same thing. Yeah! but i only reach unit 3 the first thing to remember, invoice. LOL! such a slow speed. we then rushed over to macdonald to overcome our hunger. and we walked around toapayoh for a while, before going home. that's all, tadah!!

sometimes, i really wished that im living alone. Having a new house of my dream, new things, new hope, new fragrance of detergent and stuff. To work for myself, with no worries,  no anger, just peace, peace and peace. although i might need some family warmth, but apparently, i found none. i dont have to expose anything about my family. Because like some of us, only some of us, have this kind of life. we do not have much things to enjoy and hope for like the most of you. you can have what you want, what you need, what you've got even though you have no needs for them. yet, to some of us, it's really precious. i wished i can say everything that i dont like here. what things i have suffered. It's not even because of some house chores that i have to do, or to take care of my family, food, bills and everything. it's nothing like that. There are just too many "NO". "MUST" . The sounds that were heard of will be "piak!", bang" something like that, slaps, doors being bang. Punch! everything. i might look like some jokers, yet, im not that joyful like what i look like. To those whom have just seen me once or twice. either they say, she so funny, cute, mental, fierce, ah lian. However, what makes me become that way. i can only said it's because of me myself. i guess im too distress about my emotions. stressing myself over a lot of things which you can say, there's seems nothing to be worried about. Nah! even if you dont feel like worrying, you have to, even when you like forgetting it, you can't forget about it, even if you say i will take care of it some other time, no! you have to take care of it now! it really does seems like im grumbling right? im not. i just complaining. i somehow wish i will either be sleeping all the way along like a dead person, not knowing what had happen to human, all not even living on earth. that way, i wont have to worry about anything. they say, human tends to stress themselves over nothing. Yes, it's true. However that's human nature.

HI! HIHIHHIHI!! ANNEONG!!!! took cab to ziying house as im late and we are supposed to do project. started doing and it was sooo tiring.worked our way till about 7 plus? ate dinner slack a while and went home at nine plus. haha, we have a joke about our family. heh! went to meet shvia, then we go find place and eat and everything. and then go go go sleep like finally. but woke up early. bath and everything, went down to eat breakfast and pack our things and went downtown east and sing song. only me and shiva, LOL! so he's like a loner. im the only one singin, till i dont even feel like singing. were actually wondering where we should go, escape, movie or what. nso we settled down for k session. afterwards, were actually heading to watch the movie or play pool, but shiva father reaching s'pore and he want shiva to show thw way to his aunty house at punggol. end up, we went to 2 of his relatives house. our plans are gone, and we are like visiting :/ LOL! no movies to watch although we even planned to watch together with his mama and papa. instead we eat at the 2nd house that we went to. we went from geylang to downtown to woodland to punggol to jurong to east coast to tam. 7 place !! LOL! we went east coast to eat before going home, and even went for a walk at the beach. shiva mum chosed a dress for me and shiva paid for it. and i really thought it's sari. and that shiva even said smth like you look at the flower (the indian girl wear on the head one) you have to wear it with the dress and wear it when you come with me. and that there's two type of dress, one before married and one after , and his mama had chose the one that is for those after married to wear. and when i saw the dress, guess what, it's those kind of short dress, you can wear stockings beneath. omg!!! haha! anyway, sherlyn just came back and asked me if i rmb the bear that i brought for her, she said she brought it to work to sleep, and she forgot to bring it back yst, and her manager go and hide it. LOL! haqim is not worse than jamil. whenever champanzee hides thing, you cannot find it one ! LOL! k bye!

heheh! hi people, hmm. i can't really think of what i should post now as im damn exhausted! anyway, shall update what i did today. supposedly, zi ying and me planned to go swimming as gina gt smth on, joanne can't come as she needs to complete her project, and im not feeling good for quite a few days already. But it rained! so, instead, we went to city square mall, and we tried cutting and drawing things for out project. LOL! we ate sushi first, and i tried drawing, and i finally draw smth that can really represent the clothes for the face. but it wasnt that good, so im planning to draw again on sunday when we were supposed to go to zi ying house. then i brought a ramen as i am feeling cold and getting stiff. we did a bit more then we left that japanese place to start walking around. went to see and try clothes, but apparently, it wasnt that good. went to eat ice cream and it was faboulous! after that went to sunflower shop and there's one shirt that's really nice. BUT! IT'S TOO EX, $40!! and the material isnt thtaq great either, it's only the cutting of the shirt that is awesome! but then! it's too ex, next. we went around to see clothes again. so i tried finding jacket, i saw two but they were really ex too, sigh! waited for shiva to end work after zi ying went home, then went home. and im tired. so bye.