went back CS today, to help Jamil. Have been thinking for days whether i should go back to CS or not. Just yst, i told roliah that i will help the next day. But goodness know how that Ila knew Siti and me. She might see me twice before when she's a trainee manager at PS, but we never communicated with each other before. Then she knew roliah although she had never meet her before. Anyway, from many people mouth, Ila is king of bossy fierce haughty. But the way she speak to Jamil is really damn guai lan. although today when i went back to CS, she act like she is very friendly to him. Like EWW. I know how you are like -.- Quit acting like a bitch! also, before i left house, rolie called me and said that i wont like the news that she will be saying to me. That Myo Myat cannot work as he havent offically quit MS, and that she cant do the payroll thing, so she cannot let myo work. but just now, i talked to Myo in FB, and he said he was damn angry. and he even said "fuck u" to me. i know he's damn angry la. then he asked me what Jamil said, i told him i dont know since i only reached there at 4 plus. When i reached there, it's really like a Malay Kampong. All busy setting up Halloween's Stuff, and not taking care of the customer? Like seriously. then Rolie came to me and asked me go kitchen help her, after that, champanzee asked me help him fold aluminium. then i went to the bar to fold as many customers were coming in. So i started doing bar, resulting in me doing bar. and when i first did it, i was lost. it's like bar jam. you know why. One, it's been months since i last do bar, i forget everything. Secondly, no prep no nth! like seriously, how did these people do bar! and i was pissed. Because of those two reasons, and the runner area is damn messy! everything put at the ice there, sauce fall off, drop on the table, all wet, and keep getting wet. Trainees came to wash cloths and those rice and everything never threw away, WANT TO CAUSE MY SINK TO JAM AH! TSK! angry sia. then the trainees all keep coming in to the runner and bar when it's about night. no space to walk! ask the hot drinks now or later, reply so soft, mumbling somemore! Talking to  yourself ah! then stil can come in and complain about this and that customer. nvm, bar labels all never put never change. i thought that ILA AND ROGER SPECIFIES ON THAT A LOT!!! stop blaming champanzee! FUCK LA! then i went to do those labels, then jamil came and say,"i will be very happy you noe, if you all come back like this to work. then he asked me in a lower, serious tone, if i want to come back work or not.he asked these qns a lot of times, and i keep telling him no. the Ila asked me too, but i said im not sure. cause im  not answering her any qns. then guess what, i guess some customer complaint, and she sms champanzee smth like she's in the toilet when it happens, you are the MOD, please give me a report tonight urgently, you are the MOD on shift." seeing those msgs, and im like.. so i said, isn't she the one who's handling customers complaint, it's not about food what, you only bother about BOH things what, why is it up to you? then rolie say ya la, sms her tell her la, i tot you in charge of customers complaint wan, i only in charge of kitchen oh! hais, just now myo myat chat to me in FB, he even said he's angry with jamil cus jamil never say anything, well, that's what he assume, i dont know if jamil did or not la, but then... hais, i dont wanna get involve. thing is, im pondering about this qns for like damn long, should i go back to cs, but i want do kitchen!ok la bye, i have to bath and sleep!

i dont know why im aint feeling myself anymore.i get upset with little things. and it has nth to do with girl's period or what. im getting upset now and then. and i cannot even find the reasons why im feeling this way. am i really that tired? am i really that frustrated? i just cant find any answer. i take others' words seriously nowadays, and even the way they speak to me. im like an idiot. really. this isnt me at all. i just want to escape from everything, i do not want to face anything or anyone anymore. the worse thing is that i dont even know what's my reason. i may joke like some joker, even when im feeling upset, apparently for no reasons too. but deep down, im hurting like some nutters. what's the matter with me, what is wrong with me. why cant i even figure out myself? it looks like im the one who hurt myself the most.can i just find myself? can i seek myself out? do i know myself well enough. im changing. changing to someone whom i do not even recognise. what am i, really.

i guess im angry with myself. im so short tempered nowadays! i dont know why um just dont like him. ever since that accident. anbd i really cant see if she really dont like him or what. after that accident they met a few times, but after those few times, she started not liking him. and we've been like tgt for almost 4 years in jan next year. i dont feel like explaining myself here. i just fucking dont want to think about anything. i can't do anything. i try escaping, but everything just resume! she do not want to tell me the reason why, she will only answer siao ah, all those. for god sake! im stuck in the middle. and im like getting myself even more irritated explaining to both parties! why dont you people try to me be, stuck in the middle of nowhere. getting myself even blood boil! fuck la. !!@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello penguin, birds and butterflies. nth much to post about. went swimming with ziying yst at bishan complex, time quite short, but at least ziying kind of know how to swim ^^. heh!! went J8 to buy gift for ah ming. then went kfc to eat. i suddenly saw eric, and im like wavin my hang up and down like some mad woman, then i wondered where sep is, i looked behind and shouted pubor! then she ji siao siao. hah!!although it's not so long since we last meet, but i mis her like fuck. haha!! like ps only la, at there shouting like some mad woman, then eddy come, then we take bus to pasir ris and we even ran to catch that bus but that bus took one big round. aiyo. then finally we reached there, then saw ah ben, cheng rond, ah ming, billy and kah wei, and 2 more frens of theirs. but it took me quite a moment that one of their fren is wild boar! wa lao! he depression until damn skinny. crazy sia him! then we drag drag until 10 plus still go eat. LOL! took bus with sotong and wild boar to my house bus stop, sean took his bus then acc sotong to wait fot his bus to come then go. today wake up late, go sku, then go work after sku :( bye, im sleepy i wan watch show first, byebyebye

right! were kind of having a bad day today. Mum did not wash my uniform and i hurt my finger, slept barely 3 hours, as i cant slept for the other 3 hours cause of the pain that my fingers are causing. sms-ed kelly. and she told boss that my shirt had not dry yet. he said one person can only have two. WHEN YOU EXPECT PART TIMERS TO WORK ALMOST EVERYDAY? LIKE WTH! there's a lot of things which he should think of us, but he did not. and he should learn how to do drinks, and trust us with what we are doing. and even if you are afraid of us going near the counter, there's 2 camera for goodness sake! argh! forget about him first. will update about him some other time. morning, woked up feeling so weary and my movement and everything were damn slow, including 2 of my finger which led me to unable to do anything at all. and i even had to ask my mum to help me buckle my bra. ARGH! i walk slowly to the bus stop and saw that my bus are reaching so i chiong. and there's this stupid uncle. he cant walk properly. so i started with walking right after he turn left a bit, and he came to the right side of the pave, so i head to the left. chiong. and he walk to the left. and guess what! he's reading a fucking newspaper! so i make a irritated sound and he said sory. but guess what. Got one aunty wave her hand particularly when catching up the bus in front of me. the bus havent close yet, and we were about to reach the bus, it close and the bus driver did not even glance at out direction. and mind you, the bus were not even full! Never mind the lateness already. i took bus to simei to catch the mrt. i tap my card and it started card error, when my mrt left only 1 min to come. so i have to go the ticket office there and asked the person! i miss my mrt. and when i finally get on my mrt. there's no where to hold any poles as there's a fat girl who leaned against it, so i have to lean it in order not to falll down. about 3 stops later, more people came in when it's already very squeezy. and i became tthe meat in a burger. a man carrying a backpack squueze on me, and how squeezy it is! almost cant even breath and my stomach were quite pain this morning. and that bag squeeze my stomach area. but i tolerate. for damn long. but then he squeezed even more, so i make another irritated sound! and 2 people turn their head to look at me. WTF! then i today no shirt, but i wanted to get my earpiece, and i wont be able to go to work if i go home. so i went to find for earpiece and joanne went to buy her highlighter. then me and ziying went to eat, and we went to take mrt. my phone no batt once i called rolliah. and when i finbally call her, she said that she's at farrer park cause she cannot get thru me. so i asked her to sms me russell no. as she dont have kelly's. and i actually want to pretend to be someone else. but he asked me who i am even though i lower my voice. then he give kelly. i actually wanted to hint her if she want to go work or not., cause when she asked russell if she can stay till night, he say go. like no money to pay us. then if she dont want, and i say cant work. he has to close. seriously he no brain wan la. nxt time then tell you why. argh. then nvm. i went mfm cs. go part of my menu knowledge. then there's no helmet for me to go home. fuck! i reached home almost one. and i got scolded. i do not have extra phone! who to lend from sia! fuck! what a day right?! ARGH!

Hey guys, haven been updating my blog for quite a few days already. just reached home. i have a new job and i started last thur. Cup C+. juices, juices tea, milk tea, flower tea etc. i love the mulberry tea!!! It's totally nice and im serious, even the smell of the tea bad is damn wacko! can someone buy it for me? else i have to keep drinking a little only when there are people who ordered it. :( anyway who want to work with me? and who wants to work at a fitness shop where they sell those fitness shirts? the manager (i assume) ask me. well, erm, on friday, while waiting for Gina to end her talk? for her MHA project, i eventually told zi ying part of my prob. hm, it's not finish yet. LOL! is my story really damn sad? and i even asked her to write a reflection jokingly, and she was serious in writing one. haha. anyway, i duno if i want to add the other parts of my story cause it seems even painer to share everything. hmm. anyway, bye, im having my fried rice and it's cold already. so bye!