went to chalet yst, went out at 12 plus, took cab to downtown, meet eddy there. saw joseph on the way to meet eddy, then he whisper to me say i fat, stupid ice thrower.lol. went to find jos chalet next, cannot find, you know why? because i rmb the room no. wrongly. hoho, then i talking to sep also. then like a blur only. and jos suddenly came back, so we followed him go, play card watch tv, sleep, because all sleepy. but i canot sleep, noe why? that eddy sleep wrong way, i no place to place my feet, nvm, i dozed off a while, and i woked up, because i have to wait for that uncle eric, so slow! cause he ended work at 3. then funny lor, the two monkey! js sleep on the floor because no space for him to sleep, then his head keep appearing beside my bed, and he say i keep looking at him every ten min, and that he scared alr, walao ei, i sleeping your face keep appear at my bed there, who wont look at you. lol. then nvm, later on, i jialat already, you noe why? because eddy keep movin up the bed and he dont want use the pillow, then his head right beside my head, only a bit lower, then js face appear left beside my bed, so their two monkey head so near me, what am i supposed to do. lol! crazy monkeys! then i never really sleep, cold and because they two ANYHOW sleep. so i did not really sleep. and i go to another room then go outside to play card. then jos and jackson come out to smoke. then we play a while then go to the room to watch tv, and i keep disturp them, hoho, well. i used to doing that with them, haha. and we did not meet for quite a period esp sotong.  that's why. well, goosebump everything all come, haha. hmmm, we then help to carry things to the taxi stand and we took bus home, talked about the past and they recalled of me going to work when im moody or just woked up or quarrel with parents. and i will say go away la dont make me! hehe, i did not recall that however. =) i love the past seriously. anyway, they alighted at my place, and their bus came, so we went our sep ways, my father side's uncle and aunty came my house. grandma never come, hoho. eat curry jiap cai, watch my show!! ah!! xin huan zhu ge ge,. hoho, i noe that they shall finished soon, but anyway.. lolol. go watch other show then slept at about 3.30 and woked up about 6 plus. eat dinner, and update this, and i suddenly rmb that uncle and aunty said that they want to leave their house to us, and even uncle asked me tolisten to it seriously, but i cannot believe, so pretend to absorbed in my show and pretending too busy to hear it. but my bro best, play game ppl call him talk to him in front of him no reply. haha. and i just asked my mum why they want to say it. and guess what, they said that two uncle and two aunties, my father side, we are their children, you know why, because they children, and i asked edmund they all also counted as their children or not, mum said no, because it's their mother whom is my father's sister, and they different surname, so if anything happens to my two uncle and two aunties. my bro, sis and me have to take care of them leh. haish. but then the aunty that came my house today is very kpo actually, everything want to ask, bo liao thing also want to interrupt ppl doing work or playing game and asked them, and everything i postw on fb about shiva also want to kpo. so i delete her, dont really like her, the biggest aunty that one, she is good i think, but we never talk, im not really closed with my father's side,every year chinese new year, i would rather spent the time at my mum's side, because im closed with the cousins i have there on my mum's side, and it's a direct opp  at my father's side, so it's a bore of going there. so i werent closed with them, so i dont know how to take care of them, and i dont know where the first aunty and uncle lives. i dont even noe their names. hmm. then mum said she will have to tell us about this to the three of us, hais.

im lazy to post anything. bye, random post only

hey guys, im damn tired, anyway, woked up , went sku, class phototaking session, boring la sia.:( im always sitting on the left/right corner, sit till sian, after that go class take assignment 5, go eat, go dumman sec for oral. saw a guy wearing home clothes inside, so i follow him, hhaaaha, security guard there, then ask him go where. he say duno, then he say go look for office, and that this sku not good, he last time at east spring they got send ppl to wait for them, dumman sec dont have. then we go hall, gthen i take out the book that i've written some hints for oral yst. and i glanced at one table and saw ppl coming for oral as well as private candidate, then i went back to looking at my book, then when i look up again, then got one girl turn her head around, it's jiayu!! haha! i did not expect to see xueling, kaiying and jiayu anymore, seriously, and those past few days im wondering whether we will gather up one day or not, lol, because after sec 2, i change class and clique. that's why, she motioned me to go and seat beside her. then we talk a bit, then the teacher came and asked us to follow him. went for oral, hmm, dont want say anything about it, waste of my time only. lol. after that went back home bath and come out again. then go back sku for SC oath. im rather tired, and the two journeys, on the way to sch and on the way back home, i have a bis headache, and i grew dizzy and tired, but i cant sleep even when i tried to. hmmm. bye, i need to bath and wash plates and bowl and start doing my work already.

hey guys, guess what, i noe i have been feeling fatter each day, hoho, i knew that i want to slim down long ago, but making no effort in exercising, i was hoping that i will slim down by doing nothing, and that i am unable to wake up early each day, not even wanting to wake up just to do smth i dont like, which is jogging. and i do not want to do it in the evening or what when there are so many people around. and people whom i've never met for a period said that im growing fatter too. so i guess that's it. i have to slim down, and i know that i loves food, and this year, many a time, i eat more than usual, i still used to remeber how little i ate last time :/ so anyway, i have to buck up soon and go for a jogging. so guys, erm, i will try.. LOL

A friend asked me for help yesterday night, as she thought that her classmates want to fight with her, and they said that she had twisted whatever story which i do not know of, it's hard to make clear of what shu ting is saying, but i know that she wanted to prove to her classmates that she can fight back however she wants to. i wanted to help her, but i had actually promised not to intervere in such things this year. all i can only do is to tell her to ignore them, but then seeing what she keep writing like telling her god brother or asking me if she should tell eugenia as eugenia's friend know her classmate. and all of this story actually begins with her boyfriend. but she said that she and her boyfren did not state that they were in a relationship so there's no use in telling her bf that she wanted to break up in mon? i dont know. i dont feel like helping her too, because helping her might led her to think that she's got ppl behind her. and it's like she's from china, even though she lives here quite long for 10 years. and she could study, so why let her  bother about these ppl and making herself distracted from studies. i dont know.

i dont know why i kept thinking of the past, along with that belle. maybe because we saw each other cried a few times before? maybe because we're not like last time totally? maybe because we used to go out tgt, mayb because whenever we have things that we are worrying, we could share? maybe because there's trouble and she knew it and i could tell her how i feel? maybe because i even felt jealous once when i see her being so closed with her new friends until i knew them, even though i knew that she did not want to go to that course at all, and she told joey and kim that she went there because of me when she tells me she go there because of her god brother. if anyone could just tell me what to do, she's a person whom is full of lies and everything, although her lies are so convincing that even me myself, had listened for quite a few times and i believed those words.i do not know what to do, approaching her is alright, only that there is no truth in her, and she's like a false person only.i used to tel her, anyone say you, just come to me, tell me, i will help her. i remembered this, when we're in the mrt station, going up escalator. then this woman just walked so fast and bang her without any sorry, and belle is small in size and always wanting to fall off when someone pushed her or what. and she like saying "cb.. and stuffs, complainin" and that woman turned back to her withblack face and to me, and nod her head as if asking what's her prob. and i said to that woman "you pushed her" and she said she did not, and i told her she did. and she say that we are rude and she walked off? yeah, somewhat a good friend right? i dont know, it's like erm, 3 years of frenship, i admit, i have longer friendships than that, but now, i seldom share problems with anyone, and even if i did, it's nth too personal. because i came to know that even a good friend of yours could just say anything out. i really felt like asking her, why in the first place would she do all the stuffs, but like i said, she's not going to reply honestly.i dont know why i am even sadder and dissapointed than angry. somewhat, she still hold that small little place in my heart. i just cant figure out why.

sad sad sad, what can i say? i went to sku today, well just as usual, only that we are talking about jieling. resulting me being late in meeting roliah. went to city square, and manhattan to find jamil. to get the things that kath needed for her school. but did not get it, LOL. jamil cook pasta and we shared. and then i saw how the people are working. there's only three FOH staff, one came from Plaza Sing, i worked with him, Hanafie, before. One trainee whom i think i noe him but im not so sure about that, and one new girl whom is christine's friend whom is injured and can only do bar. hanafie asked me why i left cs in the first place, and i told him because of smth n oh, and makcik do not wan me to continue saying, then he say he can guess it's because of who. and he said that there is no senior at cs, except for belle, and if ther's another senior, it's only him as he worked 2 mths plus but worked longer than the others, and he said that christine is no longer working there, someone said that too, and i said i noe, she now at TC but he said she kanna kicked out too. and then , well there were more news, such as more ppl turning two headed snake, although i knew it long ago. but it happen to someone -.- argh. and that, well, when they closed, you can see how they sweep mop and everything, and when t's time to left, most of the things are not done!!!!!!! like damn dissapointing you noe, like how everyone used to take care of the cleanliness, focusing on teamwork, achieving target, worked as one good team, giving good service, but now, it's left with nth, belle? a senior? so unlikely, she's a laughter. CMI that's what she is, not bothering to do all this and get frustrated when others dont do their job when she her ownself do not do it. she's better in being an ALM, - act like  manager. AND THAT. ARGH!! SO MANY THINGS!! like whate4ver we had did seems like we had not done anything at all. there seems to be no us in the past at that place before, yet, how familiar and how un familiar it seems to be. everything changed a lot, and i really really regret that i have quitted in the first place. and i really really wish that i could go back and changed everything to become good. but three people, makicik, mum and sherlyn asked me, got used meh, a losing battle, will listen meh? picking up leftover bones? etc. i agree, but yet, as stubborn, as naive i really with and hope that i could change back that place. it holds a place in my heart no matter how long i have left that place. seriously, im heartbroken when i saw things changed to this way. how i wish i could expressed how i feel, but i have too many complicating feelings right now, and it's getting even iritating.

hais, i am really wondering when will i be able to really go to the central fishermans market. :( i have been waiting for that even since starting of july, ever since i went for attachment to TC. hais, but i have been too restless for weeks, and i dont want to work anymore. even when i have the free time, i still want to rest more. i simply have no mood to work :/ but if im still at cs, probably. well, have been talking to makcik these few times :/ and of course, you can guess, we talked about a lot of nonsense, but we really miss CS.  well well well, so many thoughts i just want to write over here, but i guess i can just forget about it.anyway anyway, let's see. i havent tell my mum that i do not want to take the english o level exam, i really dont feel like taking it .:( and i dont know how to say, plus i have already gave the money long ago. what should i do now.

were supposed to be working today at traders 7 - 3 but havin a headache wont help much in working, as well as with the thought of unable to leave the place halfway or smth if i get worse, i figured out that i should not go work in the first place. called traders but cafebiz never answer, so i can only sms yong kang saying that i "sprained my ankle" and is unable to work for about 1 - 2 weeks. bad right? but i dont know, i dont want to work anymore. i guess not enough sleep is one of the problem, physically and mentally tired, that's another. as well as i have been working for like 5 years plus, aint im tired? and the last reason was that im studying and working, it's not like when im in sec sku, because i seldom go sku, but now, im going sku everyday, it's a MANY difference you know. i just want to stop working.

sometimes, i felt like going back to the old me. when  i could just say whatever i want, be it i hurt others feeling or what. now, i have to consider and re-consider whether the things that i will be saying will do one good or broke up a friendship. if only i can go back to the old ways, wo xing wo shu! i think that willl be the best for me. i dont know why i will want to leave a good impression on others, and to do something good so that i can change myself into a nicer person, and work hard for my future. if only it's last time, i wont have go to school, i wont have join SC, i could be as negative as i want to. i really dont feel myself at all most of the times. i do not use to laugh so much, telling jokes aso much. all i did was to skip sku, slack, people ask me qns i talk, and do not even bother to care about anything else. i do what i want. when i know that there's someone walking about me, i will ask that person why are they doing that. when ppl accuse me of doing something that i did not do, i go yell back at them, saying im not the one who do it, why should they blame it on me. i find myself hard to get to.i dont understand what im doing right now. y should i take so many things to do, having two jobs, working hard and everything. i want everything to go back to last time like how it used to be. when i dont have to care, when i dont need to care, and y should i bother. i dont have to bother.really, if only i can change back to the old me, which i think is quite diff as im trying my best to be good, how can i be a good and bad person. this is not being pretentious or what, but really, when you are havin so much things on hand in order to be good inorder to not think so much, but wanting so badly to be a hurtful person, to hurt ppl who has hurt you. i dont know how to do it. say, what should i do,

THERE!  that arrogant and shamless bitch lies at, at mfm cs. trying to think that she is in the power of everything, think she can talk to every manager about the things that happen to the staff and make the staffs there angry. like wth. when i tried to comment and put a funny video and even asking her to like my page when i had not asked her to like it, and she posted a comment there saying she cant take it anymore and i asked her what happen and she said it's a personal problem and even had a smiley face along with her answer. so i thought maybe that page could have help her a little. but still, she either did n ot reply my comments or deleted them, and all i thought was to cheer her up and pretended like nth had happen so that when we have to met again, i wont have to use some kind of face to face her. yeah, i know, you can call me dumb or whatsoever. but what a nerve that she has. make my blood boil only. and she even deleted my funny video that i thought can cheer her up. ignorant ass. sometimes, i feel like i should not continue working at mfm, in order not to care about those assholes. and that whenever i met her accidentally, i could really talked to her like some kind of bitch. and i really think that im kind of thoughful and kind. ya the same old eileen. i have been trying for years, to tell myself to change. but still, i failed myself. here it goes again. stupid or what. like totally. and since she dont deserve it, i dont see what's the point of doing all this. as if im bootlicking her right. argh, stupid christabelle. what a sore loser you are. i admit im one too, but you are worse than me. all right. if i really quit mfm, i guess if im still angry, the first person i will meet shall be you, slapping your face sounds like a bad idea. cause it's useless in slapping you. and i dont think i will want to be a bad guy to become supervisor and came to cs just to "take revenge". im not up to that standard as im not that kind of person. say, being a good person is me. but being a hard person, she do not bother to take it to heart and even ignore it. when she's that kind of bitch. really, im boiling right now.

woohoo, good night guys, a perfect night for my little story. guess i cant watch my show tonight for i have to sleep early and worked up early tml and to reach school by 7! like wth right, just for s ndp, and because SC are required to join in. which i think it's a waste of time. well, indeed they are. am hoping that tml will faster goes by, i only wanted to see the singing part only, haha, because i want to SING! anyway, woked up 9 plus due to my sis dropping something, and went to the toilet and went back to bed, but were unable to sleep. tried sleeping for umpteen of times. anyway, woke up 12 plus again, and mum wqent to my bed, asking me what to do for dinner, as im not eating at home and she has prepared the food, and i told her i dont know, and her eye keep rolling from left to right, as if looking for something to say, but she keep doing that with her head bobbing up and down, makes her looks funny and i laugh, and did i mention that she beat my head and wanted to pull my ear? Hahah!! yell at dad for help, like what i did in the toilet, calling me for help as my mum did something goodness know what to him. LOL! woked up, watch my show, ate my lunch and wait for shiva to call, prepare everything and went down to meet him, and off we go to ecp, had mac again, and went to pitch the tent, around 6.20 pack our things and left our tent at ecp, i mean left it there, and we went off to bugis, and i took mrt there to cityhall mrt so as to meet diana from ete to get my stuffs, went back to bugis, and bike-d back to ecp. were laughing like a mad person, anyway, im kind of getting rather sleepy, so there. off i go now.

ok, angry and annoyed and irrated. guess why, everyone thought they are alone, and inluding me as well! i got pissed off quite easily these few days, and is eriously dont think it's my fault or what. But,it's like when there are things that are supposed to be done tgt, i felt that im alone unless i asked for help! and for goodness sake! it's a thing when all are supposed to do it tgt. alright, i dont know how i am supposed to rant out now, sometimes, it's fucking bad to felt cheerful when im not! and there are so many times when i wished i can keep my mouth shut instead. even though i did not do anything wrongly!

Hi guys, it's 1.43am already, and im not on bed yet although im kind of sleepy right now. haha, seems a bit weird without my drinks now, im getting thirsty right now, and erm, hungry. haha! ok, went to sku early today, okay, not that early, but still, before lesson starts, as we were supposed to help ivan create fb. as well as making a fan page, and ever since i reached home, i did not watch my shows or anything,instead, i went around my fb and message people to like the page, and im like having fun only, ok, not having fun when fb block me from sharing link -.- Oh well, so i have to asked people to go to my page and like my post. only that, they link the link instead of the page, hmmm. anyway, im turning in soon, so bye.